Forget Rednecks...here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New
Englanders:
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live
in New England.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England.
If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in New England.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New
England.
If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in New England.
Goldsmiths
You actually need to live in New England to appreciate some of these jokes
1I live in the south and he's pretty accurate with his redneck lines! It's funny to hear Foxworthy cross the Mason-Dixon line!!
2That Blue Collar Special show was funny as hell, and I don't even live in the South!
3A lot of them sound like MN
4Really Karma?!! Well, I guess if it snows in MN too, then it's similar
5OH God yeah.. sounds a lot like MN
I can't believe unreads still aren't working!!
6I know. It's so annoying. But of course us addicts are clicking on 3 different pages to get to what we really want to read right?!!
7Haha, very funny.
8I think my husband rendered his house, in GA.
He is pretty funny! I've always
lived in the south and some of the things above have applied to me.
And, he
actually lets me know what a redneck is because, I've never really met one.
Anyway, I love him and think he is hysterical!
Thanks for
posting this funny list, DesignR.
9These are great Doc! so many apply to me!
10hahahaa so funny! I've never been to New England but I always measure distance in time too
__________________________
In da club with my hommies
11ahhh yes, very very new england! haha
12he should have added: if you know people who wear socks wih birkenstocks... you live in new england....
13OMG socks and birkis... Vade retro Satana!
__________________________
In da club with my hommies
14"If going to the beach means freezing your t*ts off in a bathing suit... you live in New England."
"If the water is so cold you've never gone in higher than your ankles... you live in New England."
15__________________________
In da club with my hommies
16LOL funny stuff! I love Jeff Foxworthy.
------------------------------------------------------
17Wenty's got a nice ass eh?
Oh wow! really nice blog, i like all the sentences, haaha pretty cool!
18These are HIGH-larious. The pot-hole/snow one and the snowsuit/Halloween- OMG
19This is hilarious! I have to send this to my Massachussetts born and bred hubby!
*I reject your reality and substitute my own*
20Post A Comment
To post comments, please log in or register.